I Still Believe in Time Travel

I Still Believe in Time Travel (For Rochelle)

First day of May it’s Saturday it’s a beautiful day the weather’s
windywindywindy we’re all just wishing you were here
standing in a circle under the Tree watching the bugs and
fallen leaves in the center
getting moved by the wind telling stories of your
magic throwing them all
into the center
erupting your memories back in the nature
making me remember fully and realize how your
branches grew and in 20 years I
haven’t cried
but now
the wind’s your sigh and
I’ve got your leaves
all over me.

do you remember?
that time you burst
into my room with the bottles and smiles and
threw my books onto the floor and took my hand
to the stairs under the steamer to drink and
talk about time travel
I explained eleven dimensions as
best I could.

now it seems so simple
on those days when I can’t
rationalize you.

you are so much bigger than me.

In all sincerity (ImissyouIloveyouImissyou)
I have always
wanted
to tell you that.

the only things that feel like they matter
at all right now are
staring at leaves and
talking with friends just to talk.
they’re
like that like
the way you wore that dress
with the green and the holes and the flowers
I can’t remember clearly anymore.

sometimes I like to think life only lets
you have so much living before it just
eats you up,
and in that sense you just
won the race.

but I know you’re still out there and here
just made of something else now.
sometime I’ll know.
yes, something, somewhere.
I’m just scared.